Because He knows the depths of my heart and loves me just the same.

Most of the time though, I just find myself smiling at Africa’s audible influence… I say tomato, they say tomato. Or more specifically…

I say trash (can)… they say rubbish (bin)

I say sucker (as in the candy variety)… they say lolly

I say truck… they say bakkie

I say angry… they say cross

I say candy… they say sweety

I say soccer ball… they say football

… but we all say I love you… just the same.

And then I remember – He’s called the God who gives endurance. And because I know that He gives good and perfect gifts – this tell me that endurance is something I need.  And endurance isn’t required for easy.

So today, I need to adjust my expectations and maybe even my prayers- not for Him to remove the hard from my life, but to increase my endurance in the midst of it.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  Romans 5:3-5

Just to wet your appetite, I’ll share a few (of his) nuggets with you:

“…fearlessly engage in a world in which love is so fearfully exchanged.”

“People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.”

“A general rule in creating stories is that characters don’t want to change. They must be forced to change…. Humans are designed to seek comfort and order, and so if they have comfort and order, they tend to plant themselves, even if their comfort isn’t all that comfortable.”

“What I’m saying is I think life is staggering and we’re just used to it. We all are like spoiled children no longer impressed with the gifts we’re given- it’s just another sunset, just another rainstorm moving over the mountain, just another child being born, just another funeral.” … “If I have a hope, it’s that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.”

Go ahead… get the book, and read your heart deeper.

…is a song lyric that gives me pause (because I struggle to live it), on an album that I listen to when my heart is heavy and I need to sing it lighter via words written by others. Music is powerful for my soul like that. And lately, these are the words that have been playing on repeat for me…

The darker the night the brighter the day

The fiercer the fight the stronger the faith

So I place my hope in You

The deeper the sin, the stronger the blood

The more to forgive, the more reason to love

So I place my trust in you

In your ways oh God – redemption, is so much better than perfection

In your ways oh God…

Over and over you prove yourself faithful

Over and over you prove yourself the Redeemer

Today I find myself asking for the brighter day and the stronger faith. I feel like I’ve been living the dark night and the fierce fight. So I bellow out this song, singing my hear lighter, and press on – because over and over He proves Himself faithful…

I start on pavement.  It turns to gravel, then grass, then dirt and back again.

I’m running in Africa.

My mind is racing but my body resists this quickened pace.

I fix my eyes on the mountains-  they dot the horizon and fill my backdrop.

I’m running in Africa.

Steady now, with a drum-like rhythm underfoot.

The Blesbok take notice and begin their effortless run. In front of me and beside me. Their speed, inspiring.

The sun meets the horizon and shadows turn frigid.

I’m running in Africa.

On my right the zebras graze, 9 of them, marked beautiful in black and white.

Effortful motion and labored breath; my sweat betrays the cold.

My feet are pounding now and my mind settles into calm.

Every exhale a letting go.

I’m running in Africa.

Exhausted.

Refreshed.

Reaching high.

Bending low.

Finished.

I’ve become a runner.  In Africa.

Tuesday’s Training Confessional #4 from Amy Riep on Vimeo.

Tuesday Training Confessional #3 from Amy Riep on Vimeo.

Tuesday Confessional #2 from Amy Riep on Vimeo.