Nov 03 Like A Thief in the Night

The enemy of our hearts is described as a thief in the night (John 10:10).  This has become a loaded description for me since we’ve had 4 break-ins on our mission base over the past three months. In response, we’ve set up a night-watch patrol schedule, put alarms on some of the buildings, and taken measures to add security and visibility across these 2500 acres.  But a thief still lurks- and he made an appearance again last week.

What I’ve learned about middle of the night thieves is this:

-          They have a plan and their actions are purposeful

-          They use the cover of darkness strategically

-          Their actions are often only discovered once the light of day reveals the wreckage left behind

-          They look for areas of vulnerability and target those first

And so it is with the enemy of my soul. I shouldn’t overlook how he tries to weasel in to my thoughts and my heart.  Because when he tries to sneak into my life, his actions are purposeful and strategic- wanting to see me crumble in a pile of selfish wreckage.  What he wants me to embrace as an acceptable shade of gray really fits in to black or white. What he wants me to rationalize into my life, is really a fertile seed that will yield some form of harvest- either of death or life. What he wants me to flirt with because it satisfies some deeper longing in me, is really an attempt to take my eyes off of the One who makes me whole.

God, shine your light on me.

Nov 01 My Ceiling, Their Floor

In recent months, a specific idea has been a driving force behind my parenting:  I want the ceiling of my life- the highest heights of my inward and outward journey- to be my children’s proverbial floor.  To parent Silas and Ellie in such a way that the things I’m learning (about spirituality, character, authenticity, etc.) become part of their lives, or seeds in their hearts, at the same time they are becoming a part of mine. In this way, things that are growth for me as an adult become foundational for them as children.   Don’t worry. I’m not ignoring developmental milestones and the natural process of spiritual growth.  But I am confident that my children’s wings will eventually stretch wider and their roots will go deeper than what I experience in my own life. And that overwhelms my heart with thankfulness.

I’m also overwhelmed that this same idea flows from the Father’s heart for you and me.  Just listen: “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.  You can ask for anything in my name and I will do it, so the Son can bring glory to the Father” (John 14:12-13).

I still can’t bring myself to fully embrace that. His ceiling, my floor? And yet- that’s His heart for me as my Father. The only reason I can even begin to “get it” is because it’s also my heart as a mother.

Oct 28 I Am One

My friend Danielle recently put a quote on the header of her blog- and it’s resonating in my heart. Challenging me. Making me determined to live for something (someOne) rather than being distracted by everything (everyone).  I couldn’t help but share it with you in this space too…

“I am only one, but I am one. I can not do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” – Edward Everett Hale

As one, what can you do??

Oct 27 In Their Words…

I’m pretty vocal about my discomfort in being described as a missionary, but the truth is, I love what I do. And every now and again I get to hear in their words about how Thrive Africa is making a difference.  In my role as Interim Director, I’m normally a behind-a-desk administrator but occasionally I get to be a front-lines participant in our various programs and outreaches. This was true at our final Hand in Hand pastor’s conference that took place a few weeks ago. This week I’ve been reading through and mulling over the feedback forms our attendees completed and I’ve been so encouraged by their responses. Here are a few highlights- in their words:

“God has touched my heart in a very different way that I feel when I leave this place I am going to tell people to follow me.” – Katherine Moloi

“God has taken my spirit higher and made me realize that I need Jesus in everything I do to be a leader.  This conference has also help[ed] me to know that I am an ambassador of Christ.”  - Mariam Tladi

“I have been completely changed by the Word of God.  It has empowered me to go out and make disciples.”  - Mofokeng P. Joseph

“God has changed my life with these teachings.  I have learned a lot about being a leader and I want to be effective when coming to things of God.” – Makhanya Sesi

“I have learned a lot about leadership and how I can train leaders. Also that we need to let our lives to do the talking.” – Reverend M. Motsapi

Oct 26 The Best Of…

Our week in Gonubie:

and I can’t leave out the “bests” that weren’t captured in photos:
- having time with friends was totally priceless
- talking over Starbucks coffee was pure bliss
- enjoying the Indian Ocean was fantastic!
- hitting up Gonubie’s fabulous grocery stores and stocking up on imported goods just totally made me smile
- watching Silas play till he could literally play no-more on his own personal jumping castle made my mom’s heart soar.
- and the list goes on, and on, and on… but I’ll leave it at that.

Thank you Kristi and Daniel for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

Oct 19 I’m Away

I was going to try and plan ahead- schedule some posts so that blogesphere wouldn’t even notice that I took a vacation. But then life got in the way. So, here’s the truth:

I’m in Gonubie, South Africa, a block from the Indian Ocean, staying with some fantastic people that I met face to face for the first time yesterday. Fast friends? Definitely. Enjoying a week away? Totally. Really glad my husband had a museum to visit 10 hours from “home” so that I could justify this road trip away? Absolutely.

So… the “best of” photos are to come, as well as some tales of our travels- I’m sure. But for now, I’m away

Oct 16 My Over-the-top Crazy Day

Yesterday was an over-the-top crazy day. A play by play won’t really do it justice, but here you go…

7:45am Leave the farm and take Silas to school

8:30 Work meeting in town

9:15 Call from my hubby saying that he was asked to come to the Department of Home Affairs right away

10:00 I run errands in town while Dave runs to QwaQwa for this unexpected meeting

11:45 Pick Silas up from school

12:00 Haircut appointment for Silas

12:10 Call from Dave- our visas to stay in South Africa were denied because our medical clearance was a year old (you have to prove you don’t have TB and that you aren’t a medical threat to the citizens here)

12:30 I hit the grocery store while my friend, Charlene,  goes to the doctor’s office on our behalf to get prescriptions in order for us to get x-rays done

1:00 Meet up with my friend Katie, who was watching Ellie, and coordinate chest x-rays and physical exams for later in the afternoon, find an internet cafe and print off the necessary government forms

2:00 Radiology appointment: get chest x-rays to prove we don’t have TB, children melting down- (side note: we had to hand-deliver the xrays this morning to a radiologist in a neighboring town- an hour away- in order to have our clearance forms signed)

3:20 Doctor’s Office- physical exams for all, children TOTALLY melting down

4:30 Get pizza in town to take home for dinner

5:15 Home

5:30 Ellie takes a hard tumble and I think her nose is broken- call my friend June, who happens to be an RN, to come check her out. Ellie has a rhino horn growing out of the bridge of her nose and is black and blue. Terrible. But June assures me she’ll survive.

6:15 Silas falls down our hard wooden stairs- first time ever, thankfully no serious injuries, but lots and LOTS of tears

6:30 Ellie to bed

6:45 I head to Thrive church

8:30 I host tea for our ministry volunteers

10:15 I crash… after a very long, over-the-top crazy day.

And it was all for visa’s sake.  Since Dave’s fiasco at the border we’ve been jumping through a zillion hoops to be/stay legal. Let’s hope this was our last bit of red tape to cross over…

Oct 13 In Bloom

It’s finally spring here in South Africa.  Our winter was long and harsh- with no indoor heat and uninsulated homes it’s a drastically different seasonal experience than stateside.  But now, the midday sun is intense and our screen-less windows beg to be opened.  The dull browns that covered the landscape are being replaced by vibrant green and flower buds whisper a divine palette of colors, soon to be in bloom.  It’s utterly refreshing.

These changes evidence that there was so much more life during the bleak midwinter than my eyes could see. Transformations were happening just beneath the surface and deep down in the roots that were necessary to usher in this beautiful and glorious spring.

And so it with us: Winter will give way to spring as we allow Him to dig beneath the surface of our lives and show us the roots growing in our hearts.  The digging can be painful and tending roots can be laborious- but it’s an indispensible process if we want to bloom.

Oct 10 Yesterday’s Adventure

We had a beautiful day yesterday- and I spent the morning on a 2 mile hike with the kiddos down our driveway. I took the camera along and these shots are some of my favorites:

Oct 07 Intimacy…

Last week I heard intimacy described as “in-to-me-see”.  I thought it was a catchy definition when I heard it- but as its continued to resurface in my thoughts- I’ve decided that it’s actually pretty profound.

I use the word intimacy frequently.  In fact, one of the things that I’ve regularly prayed for during the past year is my desire to pursue intimacy with Jesus before anything else.  In my head this has translated to me pursuing God as the first desire of my heart. Now it’s expanded to be about my response to God’s pursuit of me.  (Yup, I totally just said that God pursues me… and it’s true, and He’s pursuing you too.) It’s hard for me to grasp… but before God wants my “labors” in His name, before he wants to use my gifts or talents or shortcomings… He wants me.  Period.

To take this a little further, a dictionary definition for intimacy is:  Detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a subject.  Without a doubt, since I’m created and He’s Omniscient, God knows me through and through.  But there’s a huge relational difference in being exposed before God verses being vulnerable with God.  When I say exposed, I mean having parts of myself brought in to His light involuntarily.  Or to really break it down… it means getting caught or being called out about something.  When I say vulnerable, I mean having a posture of the heart that’s without defense before God- that’s transparent with Him- a heart that cries out… Father, in-to-me-see.

Hmmm, I’m still chewing on all of this- so I’ve got no suave way to wrap up these ramblings.  Other than to leave you with some of the questions I’ve been asking myself this week…

What is my response to God’s pursuit of me?

Am I exposed by God? Or vulnerable with Him? Or something else entirely?